Flaunt Your FLAWsomeness!

How to embrace the perfection of your human I'Mperfection

FLAWsome (noun/adj) - Someone who embraces their “flaws” and knows that they are awesome regardless.

For much of my life, I strived (strove?) for perfection, believing that if/when I achieved it, I would attain the attention, accolades, admiration, recognition, and respect I so desperately craved. On the occasion that I did get a score of 100%, an A+, a 4.0, or bowled a 300 (oh wait, I’ve never done that…lol), the joyous feeling of perfection was all too fleeting, and it wasn’t long before I was back at square one, launching out on yet another quest for this illusive prize.

On a much deeper level, I was convinced that if/when I became perfect, I would be accepted and finally worthy of love.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that “nobody’s perfect.” But I didn’t realize the full implications of that cliche, which infers that if I was perfect, I would be nobody!

But as I look back and reflect on the tyranny of perfection, I realize that NOBODY was demanding perfection of me…except ME! My family and friends, as well as my Creator, clearly loved me in spite of — perhaps even because of — my fallibility, which is synonymous with my HUMANITY.

I didn’t fully embrace my imperfections until I came across the ancient art of Kintsugi (Japanese: 金継ぎ, lit. 'golden joinery'), also known as kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"), the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, making the welds quite visible…yet beautiful.

Rather than trying to hide the damage, kintsugi highlights the repair. The imperfections are what make it beautiful and valuable. A broken piece that is put back together has more of a story, seems more authentic and real, is stronger and more resilient than something that has stayed pristine. The breaking of what once was, the layered and time-consuming process of putting it back together, the mending it with gold, all contribute to its value. And surprisingly, it becomes more resilient after it has been mended by kintsugi, even stronger than it was before.  

This deeply profound metaphor strikes deep within my soul. For as we know from economics, the more rare something is, the more valuable it is. No two vessels break the same way, so the pattern is unique — and stunningly beautiful! Although I have been broken — even shattered — that does not make me “worth-less.” It makes me PRICELESS!

In this “vein,” I can’t help but think of the classic scene in the blockbuster Spielberg film, “Jaws” — on the night before the big hunt, a rag-tag crew were hunkered down in the belly of their boat, swapping fantastical “fish stories” of battles they’d fought, showing off their respective scars as proof of their victories.

Now I see my scars, physical and emotional, as the roadmap that got me to HERE…but they do not determine were I go next. I own them, but they do not define me. They are my trophies from epic battles that I have fought…and survived…and in the best cases, I’ve THRIVED! (Recommended book: “Antifragile” by Nassam Nicholas Taleb.)

I’m finally getting to the place where I can sincerely adopt the following truth about my “I’Mperfections,” as penned by the great philosopher, Dr. Suess:

“Those who matter won’t mind, and those who mind don’t matter!”

-MoJOE risin’…

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