Guarding Your Galaxy
How (and Why) to Set Boundaries Like a Superhero!
In the blockbuster Black Panther movies, the Kingdom of Wakanda has a marvelous invisible “force shield” that Marvel-ously protects it from intruders. Those who are allies can pass through freely, while known (and potential) threats are kept out. As I watched this epic superhero movie play out, it dawned on me that this is precisely how great boundaries work: allowing loving, trusted companions to come and go while keeping harmful influences at a safe distance.
Rather than rigid, impervious walls that separate us from others, healthy boundaries are more like a membrane that wisely filters what’s coming in and out of my life. They keep out threats and allow in what nurtures me.
Robert Frost said that "good fences (not walls) make for good neighbors," which is true both literally and metaphorically. I often have to remind myself that boundaries are not selfish; they are loving. I now think of them as crucial guardrails to guide us safely along our paths instead of shutting us off from one another.
And consider this: guardrails are not just for the benefit of the one who installs them. They help others navigate safely and keep them from harming others AND themselves! Boundaries facilitate healthy, productive interactions and protect all parties involved.
In Montana, where I grew up, cattle outnumber people 10-1. I saw firsthand that fences were not just barriers; they were essential for safety. Cattle don’t understand the dangers of wandering off; good fences and cattle guards keeps them safe (and off the highway). That experience helps me better understand that healthy boundaries are not just about restrictions, but about safety—both for myself and others.
I am FINALLY beginning to grasp that healthy boundaries are not about building walls to keep people out; rather, they are protective barriers that allow me to live authentically and interact meaningfully with friends AND foes. Boundaries are not about shunning others; they demarcate and illuminate what behavior is acceptable and what is not. They create a safe space for authentic connection with yourself and others.
Like the Wakanda "force shield," healthy boundaries allow allies to pass in and out unimpeded but keep enemies at a safe distance. But when your own boundaries have been demolished, it can be quite challenging to repair and rebuild healthy boundaries.
Whenever I find myself in situations where my boundaries are being pushed, ignored, or violated, I must recognize that while it may not be my fault, but it IS my responsibility to address it.
I encourage you to take small steps to assert your needs and create boundaries that reflect self-love and respect. Open-hearted conversations facilitate healing, and by voicing your true feelings, you are paving the road for deeper connections…with proper guardrails in place.
When you commit to building and maintaining your invisible “force shield” — it is not just for you, but for the safety, security, and wellbeing of those you love.
-MoJOE risin’…
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