Splinters and Scars
The sooner we heal our hidden wounds, the better!
A few blocks from my home is a 9-hole municipal golf course where I often ride my bike in the evenings. It’s my little escape. As the sun sets, the birds chirp, and I often spot a few squirrels and bunnies along the trails. One of my favorite spots is a ravine that swallows errant golf balls—those lost treasures left behind by “golfers.” I regularly hop off my bike to rescue as many as I can.
One evening, as I ventured down into the ravine, I lost my footing. In a split second, I reached for a nearby post to catch myself, all my weight transferred one hand. The pain was immediate and acute, and when I pulled my hand off of the post, blood was pulsing down my palm. I could feel splinters buried deep below the skin—tiny pieces of wood and debris the broke off from the weathered post.
For the next few days, I endured alarming swelling and redness. Suspecting an infection, I grabbed the tweezers and an Exacto Knife and started digging around, Rambo-like, determined to uncover what lay hidden beneath the surface. As I pulled on what I thought would be a tiny sliver, I was shocked as it emerged — nearly an inch long—MUCH bigger than I expected.
This painful and poignant experience reminded me of a deeper truth: the things that hurt us the most often are hidden from view, beneath the surface, lying dormant but with the very real potential to infect our lives if we don’t address them. It’s all too easy to ignore these wounds, thinking we can just move on. But like my hand, these hidden “splinters” often lead to nastier issues down the road.
Reflecting on my own past, I realize I’ve had my share of internal wounds, trauma, and painful memories tucked away in the shadows, unhealed. I had convinced myself that I was fine, unscathed, but I grossly underestimated the fallout of what I’d experienced. But, just like my hand, those wounds didn’t just disappear. They were festering, needing attention and loving care.
It took me decades before I reached a breaking point; before I sought out qualified help, someone to guide me through the process of digging down to what I had kept buried. As uncomfortable as it was to confront those highly sensitive spots, that was absolutely necessary for my healing to begin. I may not have inflicted the wounds — so I was not to blame — but I had to take responsibility and address them.
Exposing my wounds felt uncomfortably vulnerable, to put it mildly. I worried: would people still love me if they saw my unsightly scars? Surprisingly, when I began sharing my secrets, I found that people were drawn to me, not repulsed. I experienced the truth that authenticity facilitates deeper connections, and those who truly care will embrace me. All of me. Flaws, scars, mistakes, and all.
Recently, I shared my experience with a guy named Nate, who works at the local golf course where I wounded my hand. In response, he confided in me about a painful rift with his mother. Their once-beautiful relationship had been severed for years. Emboldened by my vulnerability, he took the brave step of writing her a letter, reaching out with an olive branch, hoping for the possibility of restoration. It was his way of removing the “splinter” that was festering inside. He took the courageous first step toward healing by exposing their shared splinter and bringing it to the surface.
Of course, healing takes time, and outcomes are often out of our control. Just like my hand is still recovering, and I will likely have a permanent scar, relationships also require patience and grace. The echoes of the past may never fully fade, but it helps immensely to know that the echo is just a reverberating reflection of the past.
We all have slivers—those hidden pains from unwise choices we've made or the harm others have inflicted on us. Ignoring them is not a solution. It only makes matters worse.
Healing isn’t instantaneous, but it is vital. Remember, you’re not alone in this. Trust in both the process and the Processor. Shine a light on what’s buried. Seek help from those you trust, whether they’re trained professionals or trusted friends who understand your journey.
We all carry scars, but when treated with love and grace, they become a testament to our strength and resilience. Embrace your journey, and let those scars remind you of how far you’ve come!
-MoJOE risin’…
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#innerhealing #wounds #trauma #hiding #shadowwork #relationships #mindfulness #perspective #personalgrowth #personaldevelopment
Did you at least grab my golf ball with your good hand while you were down there?
Good stuff. Keep em coming!